I'm quitting social media except for WordPress and YouTube. Yes this post will automatically post to Facebook, twitter, and google + without me going to those sites itself.
Social media is getting to the point of complete annoyance. Almost everyone's post is someone is complaining about life, gloating about whatever that point in moment happened or something they ate or bought, taking trips, relationship shenanigans, and what not.
I try my best in relationships in putting effort towards it but not getting anything back. It's so annoying. No one goes directly to me to talk to me except through some third party to see how I'm doing which makes it even more annoying and erks me.
I know people has lives and lives to live. I'm not a loner at all so I'm cutting and testing relationships and see who actually cares. I know at least 3-5 people that actually do care.
So how well do you actually care about your relationships before it's too late and get the boot? How far will you go to save your relationships and friendships?
So, if you've read up on past Diario posts you got to know some of what I am going through. As the headaches gone, it lightened slightly but not by much. I still haven't made an appointment. Why? Because, frankly, I'm not a big fan of doctors and they don't know how to deal with people with Chiari and what they deal with on a daily basis unless they're specialists that dealt with numerous chiarians.
I feel like having months of extreme headaches, it'll start tugging on your emotions, the proper way of reacting back to the conversation, thought processes, appetite, sleep cycle, and etc. I've started to notice this. I haven't been me. I feel like I have to act it out or fake it, the real emotions I'm having at that current moment to what I was like. I'm not the superficial high maintained woman. If I had to compared my person to a celebrity personality, it would be be crossover between Johnny Depp, Ellen Degeneras, and a small hence of Queen Latifa. So yea I'm a pretty laid back girl who likes to have some fun and speaks her mind.
But, after months of what feels like agony and not feeling myself, I ask myself one question. Have I become numb to it all? I just don't knows how to talk to people anymore even though I know my friends and family and what they like to do. Can I get out of this agony and numbness? It's possible. I know for a fact I'm not depressed, I've been there I hated it. It's hard to fight it and become a normal self.
Well, thanks to those who liked my post via Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or WordPress.
Today, was mostly good. Worked ten hours. I was able to do everything that the day brought. But at the same time my mind was like no you are not going to concentrate, be spacey, make your vision brighter, make your body feel cold, and everything will seem to be like you're on the ocean waves going back and forth. So, I felt pretty unfunctional while I was be functional all of today.
My body thinks I'm fully awake and want to do things but this awful constant headache that I've been having for a month or so is telling me to do something about it (as in to lay down, take medicine, and sleep or go to the doctors). I also hate taking medication because you can get addicted to just about anything.
I like working. I don't know what I would do if I didn't work. I'm not some sort of mental case that can't work. I'm capable of anything. Look at all the successful people who may have something wrong with them but it didn't stop them like Stephen Hawking, Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller.
Well, before I start rambling word vomit about why people are capable of things even if they have inner demons and what not. I just want to update you on how my day is going. I'll probably fall asleep later on and relax.
So anyway, I have decided to write this because I would like to create this in a way that people would understand those who are going through some sort of mental illness or inner demons that are not seen on the outside. This does not mean that we are horrible people or some mental person because we can a part of normal societies way.
To start off, I am fighting an illness called Chiari Malformation type 1. It’s where the brain tonsils are longer than the average persons. I have had once got treatment when I was first diagnosed around a few years ago but was released from treatment because I felt like I was back to my normal self and felt happy.
Now, skip to present day. About a month or so ago, things started to get worse. Top symptom is headaches which feels like a 5 ton layer of bricks are laying on the back of my head, cannot concentrate, parts of my body goes to sleep more often than normal and feels constantly numb, spacey, sleep schedule is messed up, panic attacks, some personality changes, appetite change, and certain lighting and combination of noises are starting to bug me.I haven’t seen the medics about why things are acting up again. I figured that the symptoms would just go away.
But unfortunately, it has not gone away. I really should go see the medics because I don’t like what my body is doing to me and starting to feel not myself. I am still able to drive, go to school, work, and etc. I will keep you posted, if you like I can make this a daily posting? Comment down below to let me know what your opinions are and if you want this to be a daily post.
There are many things in this world that cannot be explained or yet explored. Yet, the sciences and math probabilities are able to explain some of the things going on but not all. Could it explain what is in the deepest depths of the ocean, what about the strange space, earth, and human anomalies, why we can't explain cold cases or missing person cases that are never reopened, what happens when something or someone goes through a black hole in space (hypothetically speaking), and etc? There's so many questions left to be answered.
It's an exploration race of knowledge beyond our capabilities which we are slowly learning more about and who knows what point of time it will take us to get there. It seems like there are a lot of dark subjects that haven't been shown the light of day and dedication to be worked into so we know the Earth and Space more and what we are capable of. It seems like there maybe a lot of curious minded people who are wondering about what the future holds and the mysteries and tales of the past, present and future.
What will the future hold? Will we discover what lies in the parts unknown and the tales of our own planet?
Some of you remember one of the blogs posted not too long ago explaining why we're only human and all lives matter. This is similar and if listened to we can all live in a better society. We can all live to dream that this will come true. So, beyond this paragraph you can decide if you want to read further.
When looking at multiple news outlets, there are those standing up for equality for rights and fair treatment. There are still a lot of maltreatments and corruption going on out there in the world. But, how far is enough or too much? Well, that's a million dollar question, we may never actually know.
We should spread care, love and kindness to all. We should not hate, corrupt, and evil from the world. We're all human, there's no sub-humans. Yes, we're all different colors, have different religions, culture, sexual orientations, political ideas, and etc but that doesn't make us (humans) any less than one another. History happened so we would not hope to be repeated in future history.
Would there ever be a time when there is going to be a time of peace and no violence?
I ask you for simple thing.
Will you love the people around you? Will you help stop the stigmas and violence going on in the world? Can you help the world become equal for all those who reside in the world?
Remember to love one another and be kind to your neighbor.
When you tell someone no it should mean no. You can tell anybody no or turn down any situation. No should mean no not yes. Yes should mean yes not no. Why can't people comprehend that?
It does not mean that the person has that some sort of unspoken permission in doing something that is not needed or against the other person's will.
For example, if a man is trying to get lucky and is not taking no for answer. So, he picks a random girl that may be willing to give some time to give to the desperate guy but she decides things are not exactly normal about this guy and a lot of red flags are up and waving around. She tells him no numerous times and he isn't taking no for an answer. She leaves the location and he follows her and decides that she "deserves it" and rapes her. He says she "deserves it" because of her outfit. She didn't "deserve it" because she clearly told him no and her outfit was not skimpy and was covering the majority of her skin, she wasn't acting desperate as he was, and was not being flirty or that interested in the people hitting on her. Was she a victim in this case? Yes, she was, she never asked for this to happen for her. The guy got away after he was finished with his task.
This is probably a bad example but was trying to make a point
This also can go along with so many other situations as well. If a person doesn't feel comfortable with a situation or being around a person or group of people. It is OK to say NO. Just follow your intuition and instinct or that gut feeling. You are the one who is in control of your own life. Things will fall into place and you will find your true self and figure out who your true friends are.
Remember to love one another and treat others the way you want to be treated.
Remember if you don't feel comfortable with a person or situation. Do what feels right and say no or leave.